Friday, June 27, 2014
(As narrated by Ajitha(translated by Padma Mahadev)
After my husband’s death I moved to Bengaluru to be with my eldest daughter- my two other daughters are in USA.. Eldest daughter had to move to Chennai . I longed for visitors and God sent me a Visitor!
Who was the guest? CANCER!- Breast cancer!! Although I was living on my ,own, I did not panic or lose hope. I held on to my courage and fought like the famous Indian queen of Jhansi. The love, support and prayers of my loved ones helped me to overcome this ordeal. Roles changed! My daughters became my Mother and their spouse my sons!! My illness also brought home my loved ones as visitors . After the initial treatment was over, they arranged for a home nurse to help me out . I remember the time ,when my daughters were leaving -seeing them go, couldn’t control the tears in my eyes and my daughter stopped and said – Mother seeing those tears my legs refused to move and they changed their travel plans!! This made me pull in all my resources and love concern for them to let them go back to their lives. It was agonizing to see them go and I was paralyzed for 12 hours.
At the time of surgery my jewels were replaced with tubes and I smiled at the sight and the nurse was shocked to see me smile at such a grave moment and she also smiled when I explained and those are my different type of jewels.
My eldest son-in law would come down from Chennai during the chemo therapy. While undergoing chemo, I was reminded of Chandra Gupta Maurya and the Vish Kanyas, who were fed with poison from an young age and they were used to kill the enemies of the state. Similarly to destroy Cancer I became vish kanya. (poison maiden) Don’t be alarmed, I am not going to harm anybody! This poison will only affect me and like Mira’s poison this became nectar. I had to undergo 3 chemos and 25 radio therapy and followed by another 3 more chemo’s. All the 4 doctors were very competent and treated me with love and care. Their team work gave me confidence and I decided to work at recovering my old life. I feel thankful to God for this grace. My second son-in-law supported me during the radiation treatment which was in Ramiah quite a distance from my residence. I looked forward to the daily trips and visualized that as a picnic and reminded myself to be cheerful and enthusiastic
Post Chemo, I started losing hair, fortunately, was not totally bald. It was second childhood for me and real childhood for my grand daughter ! There was competition between us as to whose hair was growing faster,the difference being she had black hair and mine is grey!! My granddaughter was used my visits during her summer vacation and she would phone me asking why I was not going this time. She would beg me with promises that we will have fun ., little knowing that ‘fun’ for me was radiation,i.v and tests. She felt confused that her grandmother who speaks so lovingly on the phone was n;ot coming to be with her.
This uninvited visitor taught me many lessons. There was a change in me. I recognized who were my real friends. I also became aware of my supportive friends from Nagpur, Gujrath,Mumbai,Pune,USA- people from all over reached out to me. I got acquainted with other cancer support groups-Ashtha Breast Cancer group in particular, chairperson -Madhavi tai would keep sending encouraging messages that helped me. I heard of Connect To Heal, after my treatment was over. The meetings held was close to my house-this is like the child is in the house, yet I go searching all over the town for the child!! I do not attend their meetings regularly due to my Sanskrit classes, bhajan mandali and travelling all over to different temples and other places of interest. They are my local support and clarify any doubts that plague me.
I acknowledge my gratitude to this ‘Visitor’, who along with anguish and pain has also given me many blessings. My faith in God has multiplied. The timid girl of past has become Jhansi Ki Rani. Reading this you may conclude that life is a bed of roses for me-on the contrary- there are troubles and I have learnt now ,to look at it from a different perspective. THIS MADE A DIFFERENCE! Five years ago an Instructor from Vivekananda Yoga Kendra had said Enjoy the pain! I use to wonder- how can this be? Now, I am beginning to grasp that message. Instead of changing the situation Change Self. Share joy with others.
Jyoth se jyoth lagate chalo,
Anand ki Ganga bahate chalo.
Ajitha has started a Prayer Group. Anyone who wants to be prayed for and would like to join are welcome.anyone who wishes are welcome .
She can be contacted at 91-9900870046.)