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Thursday, September 17, 2009

A recent report in a daily mentioned statistics of survival rate of cancer patients , those who were depressed and those who had a 'positive' outlook towards recovery. Real life tracking of such patients has revealed a positive corelation between a 'positive' attitude and complete recovery.
Mind heals the body , mind controls the body.
When we consider ourselves worthy of treatment and recovery , when we love ourselves enough to not only seek a rational and objective route to treatment , we also dispel 'fear' , the 'negative energy' that it generates. A mind which is positive and carries hope also stimulates the body's natural mechanism to recover and heal.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tryst with cancer
By Pany parmar

My learning …..

Cancer is a disease like others and unlike others too…. It has peculiar symptoms and treatment, the presentation and progress of the disease depends on the organ it inflicts, yet each case, its prognosis, treatment, affect of treatment, lifespan is individual specific. You need not get influenced by statistics of the disease. Choose your own recovery process
It does not apply only to cancer, but to life in general…. Cancer is not in your control but your response to the situation is in your hands. It affects the manner in which you understand yourself, the disease, the treatment and still feel in control. Losing power to cancer or to any other situation depends on your attitude.
Cancer need not be a death sentence …. Many cancers if detected in time can be completely cured …so don’t take give up without a course of right diagnosis and treatment
When I learnt that my father has cancer of the lungs which does not have any cure, till date, I knew I had limited time with him…. I did not take this badly …on the contrary once I accepted the situation and got over the initial grief and shock, I saw it as a positive ….. I had the luxury of spending time with him, talking to him, holding his hands knowing that there is limited time. How many of us have this kind of an experience wherein you can say goodbyes to your loved ones , get an opportunity to be around them, look after them , let them know that they are loved and cared for ? Death has to come sooner or later, it is what you do with your life that matters. In many ways knowing that he has a limited life, he put his finances in order, made out a will, met all his dear friends and relatives from around the globe …. Made the best of his otherwise ‘helpless’ situation.
After spending time with him in those 6 months , I learnt important lessons of my life some of which are …
Life is in the here and now …live each day fully, without postponing pleasures
so that there are no regrets when it is time to leave

In the end, it does not matter how big your car or house or bank balance is, but how rich, deep and faithful your relationships are.

Work on your own priorities and lead a balanced work –life, lest you regret later

Acceptance of the situation and clarity of what is in your control and what is not really helps to move forward. Focus your energies on what you can control or change, the biggest being your own attitude and you will see the difference it makes

It is easy to gain sympathy of others using the crutch of ‘cancer’ or any other situation but do you want to gain sympathy or find strength in your resources?
You need to be aware of your intentions and act according to the reaction you want from others. My dad continued his work, meet other people and asked for help when he needed it , which made it so much easier to look after him. He did not use any form of evoking guilt or sympathy in his caretakers and I enjoyed listening and interacting with him till the last day. He would cry unabashedly knowing his end is near but that was grief, not whining, not bitterness as to why this had happened to him. He was also free of anxiety of death due to his spiritual development and did not believe in religious ritualistic practices .He took life as it came, without undue concern of the future and when the end was near he said he had lived a full life with no regrets. He had scheduled a large gathering of friends and relatives over lunch on a Sunday, he passed away a week prior to the date and the ‘bhog’ was attended by all his loved ones on that very day. This, when he could barely walk, breathe and was mostly in hospital.

We discovered Dad’s cancer( cancer of the small cells in the lungs) at the last stage , not due to any oversight, but because that cancer presents itself and progresses very fast, He lived for 6months during which he underwent three rounds of chemotherapy which did not yield any result. He died a few days short of his 67th birthday, surrounded by his family and best friend.
I experienced grief and shock but never questioned the will of destiny. Its been ten and a half years since he left us. There is pain of his loss and a void which will never get filled but there is no regret, no bitterness, no hurt.