Five Stages of Grief.

Five Stages of Grief.

There are five stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance

Denial

Denial is the refusal to acknowledge the truth. Although denial may sound like a negative emotion, it is actually a very important coping tool used by many people to deal with stress. During a period of denial, it may be possible to introduce small amounts of new information, while allowing you to maintain a sense of emotional control without feeling overwhelmed. However, if you are unable to make decisions or are avoiding certain problems for too long, denial may be preventing you from taking care of yourself. If you reach this point. It may be helpful to talk with others. About your feelings to develop perspective and put aside some of the denial.

Anger

It is easy to understand how anger and rage are a part of dealing with the diagnosis of advanced cancer, but it may be difficult to find constructive way of dealing with such feelings. Anger is based on a desire for a change of circumstances and a valuing of oneself. Anger turned inward can become depression, anger turned outward can lead to inappropriate expressions toward friends and family at a time when you may need them most.

Screaming , crying or yelling are normal and healthy emotions, for example, it may help to beat pillows or to engage in physical exercise. Another woman said that she expressed her anger by stomping on old ceramic tiles into the woods behind her house and throw rocks. Alternatively. You may want to write about your feelings in a journal. All of those methods are safe and effective ways of dealing with anger.

Its nice to talk about safe and healthy anger, but anger often happens in the heat of the moment. It is certainly easy to understand how one might lash out when facing a serious cancer diagnosis.  

Many times, anger and hurt have specific targets. Those who experience a recurrence or metastasis after a period of remission may become angry at the doctors who originally treated them, feeling that the doctors were not aggressive enough the first time. Others become angry at themselves second-guessing the decisions they made and regretting lost opportunities to voice their preferences and concerns.

Depending on your situation, it might be important to reassure yourself that you made the best decisions possible during your previous treatment and that these decisions were made with all of the information that was available to you at the time. One of the most difficult aspects of making decisions is trying to understand conflicting information about your diagnosis and the fact that many things about cancer remain unknown. You should talk with your doctors about your feelings.

Another way to talk through anger is to call CTH hotline +91- 7795-779-779

“ I was very angry and I still am. If doctors had been more aggressive right at the start maybe all these recurrences wouldn’t have happened so rapidly.”

Bargaining

Bargaining often represents the desire to take control of a very uncertain situation. For example, it is common for patients with cancer to say, “ I’ll fight hard, as long as I can live next 5 yrs. Some people benefit from focusing on events during tough treatments, but it is difficult to make bargains from the short term and not want to wish for a cure.

Many survivors tell us that bargaining is an up-and-down process; they know that there is no cure for cancer, yet focusing on the short term can be most helpful. At the same time, they feel sad and upset that this is the case. Finding the right balance between hope for the future and coping with today is difficult and may require small steps.

Depression

Feeling sad or alone is normal with any illness and its treatment, but there is always room for happiness, even with advanced cancer. During your “down” time, try to do things to lift your spirits for example, arrange visits with friends and family members or engage in activities that take you outside your home. Some people say that it helps to ask permission from others to speak more freely about their disease. Maybe this is something that would work for you, too.

“ Being in a support group was extremely helpful finding a support group was one of the first things I did “.

True clinical depression is much different from occasionally feeling sad or alone. This condition occurs in about 25 percent of patients with cancer and in a slightly higher percentage of patients with advanced cancer.

Symptoms of clinical depression include.

An ongoing sad or “empty” mood

No interest in everyday matters

Feeling tired or having less energy than usual

Trouble sleeping, early waking or oversleeping

Overeating or loss of appetite.

Trouble remembering, focusing or making decision.

Feeling helpless, worthless or guilty

Grouchiness

Excessive Crying

Ongoing aches and pains for no clear reason.

Thoughts of suicide or trying to kill yourself.

If you have five or more of these symptoms for two weeks or longer  pls seek help from clinical depression includes counseling and / or medications.

Acceptance

Accepting a diagnosis of advanced cancer and all that it means may seem like a burden, yet many living with metastasis feel that they need to accept the limitations imposed by their illness in order to live. Some Survivors even feel

That they find new purpose and meaning in life as they work through the deep emotions associated with advanced cancer.

“ I remain optimistic. In the four years since my cancer has metastasized. I have lived; worked and traveled I refuse to be a victim

After being diagnosed with a recurrence, metastasis or locally advanced cancer, you may feel overwhelmed and frightened. All of the road maps that you have used in the past have become blurred. You have entered a world where there may be numerous treatment options. After performing tests, your physicians will have a fairly sophisticated idea of how the cancer is behaving and what treatments might be beneficial. At this point, it is up to you and those you love to evaluate the recommendations of your treatment team.

I feel like I’m a professional patient. One time I felt an urge to write that for an occupation on a form in a Hospital.

Quality of Life

Some people feel that quality of life means living as long as possible whereas others feel that it means continuing important daily activities as free of pain and disability as much as possible. Most definitions of quality of life actually fall between these two points of view and may change and evolve as time goes on. Its up to you to decide what’s most important to you at any given time.

Family members may experience anxiety at the thought of losing someone important to them and wish that their loved one would live as long as possible. However, if the person who is living with cancer simply wants the time he or she has left to be the best possible experience, regardless of length, family members must understand and respect these feelings.

“ Quality of life is a huge issue for me and more important than quality. I want to feel as good as I can for as long as possible”

Thinking about quality-of-life issues before treatment begins will help you decide which side effects you are willing to tolerate and which you would most like to avoid. In addition this is also another way to take charge of your life without allowing the cancer to dictate your actions. Most important realize that feelings about quality-of-life issues are an individual matter and that you should do whatever is right for you. Also keep in mind that your feelings might change over time and that speaking with loved ones might be helpful, even if you are not always in agreement with them.

My work and the feeling of being useful and needed has been a lifeline, a reason to keep going.